Dreary

My brother tries to help me but sometimes the depression just is too dark and I cannot stop myself from writing what’s in my mind.  Please forgive me for being so boring.

Desperately weary
From life’s trudgery
And drudgery,
I wandered to escape
The numbness of my heart
And the heartlessness
That had become my cup.

Wandered I aimlessly
Until a ruin
I happened upon.
Entering, I felt uneasy peace.

My eyes closed in weariness
And in my dream
Heard I a voice:
“Why came you here?”
My reply:
“To find rest.”
The Voice, deep and commanding, spake:
“Get thee hence, for peace resides not here!”

My heart sank.

Again came the voice, softer this time:
“Why came you here?”
My reply:
“To find comfort.”
The voice didst boom in command:
“Get thee hence, for comfort resides not here!”

My spirit was weary.

A third time came the voice,
This time a whisper:
“Why came you here?”
My reply was tinged with tears and struggle:
“To find forgiveness.”
The voice, gently replied:
“My child, Et ego te absolvo a peccatis tuis in nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti.
Go now absolved, and be free.”

My soul didst find wings and fly.

Next dawn, my lifeless shell was found within the old structure.
My heart was stopped.
My spirit died.
My soul had flown to freedom.
And my face bore a smile of peace
For the first time.