Growing A Little Every Day


It’s been a few days since I last had time to write anything.  My job is the most wonderful thing EVER!!!  I get to spend all day being quiet, working by myself, and thinking.  It’s so awesome!!!  The Taco Town truck came by yesterday and stopped on the block where I work.  I ate a taco for the first time and once the feeling returned to my mouth and the tears (and snot) stopped, I liked them a LOT.  But maybe not so spicy next time though.  The results of all that spiciness made me SO glad I work alone, and Logan was not happy when I got home and my butt continued to express how much I liked the tacos. 🙂

Anyway… my first paycheck last Friday and it was more than I expected.  So I gave half to Logan for rent and utilities, bought some girly things for my room and bathroom, and put some in my safe place.  Today, I went to the store to buy a couple of dressy blouses (so I won’t look like a homeless person anymore).  The clerk was nice and very helpful.  I picked a white one and a baby blue one.  I tried on the white one and the clerk looked at me and asked me what bra size I wore.  I told her, as nicely as I could, that I don’t have anything to put in a bra so I don’t wear one.  She then told me white might not be the best choice for me.  When I looked in the mirror, it was pretty obvious why light colors would be a wrong choice.  So she helped me select a camisole and a tank top to wear with my blouses (she also suggested wearing a sweater).

Also, been taking Sister Thomasina’s Butt-Kicking Women’s Self Defense Class.  I have not hurt so much in a long time.  I REALLY kinda felt sorry for the guy who wore the “bad guy” suit, partly because he got the crap beat out of him by 7 women, and partly because he was one of the priests.  We learned to that when it comes down to protecting ourselves, there’s no such thing as nice!  You kick, punch, claw, grab, scratch, gouge, bite, headbutt, pretty much anything and everything goes.  IT WAS AWESOME!!!!  I got out so much aggression that had been stuffed down for so long and it felt soooo good!  After class, though, I felt compelled to give the priest a hug and tell him I was sorry for being so rough.  He told me it’s better to learn to take care of myself than to be taken advantage of….if only he knew.

Spent all afternoon yesterday talking with Sister Thomasina.  She invited me to go with her, so we walked around and she showed me the area.  Lots of little shops with some really interesting stuff.  Some shops with some great clothes (my style) and CHEAP too!  Then we stopped at a pub and had a beer.  She encouraged me to share my story in detail with others because if it has happened to me, it is happening to others who need to know there IS a way out.  Still thinking about that, and I blush every time I think about all that has happened.  It’s absolutely humiliating and degrading!  I don’t know.

For Thanksgiving, I made Logan my special Peanut Butter and Honey Sandwiches with Cheetos.  Then he took me out to dinner for a real Thanksgiving Turkey meal that was so filling and delicious!  I am SO thankful for Logan!!!


5 thoughts on “Growing A Little Every Day

  1. I feel so happy when I read about the positive steps you are making. So much congratulations in is in order on all the good things you are are doing for you! Happy Belated Thanksgiving and wishing you the very best Christmas you’ve ever had! ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you Melissa. Trying to stay positive and keep moving forward. Still have nightmares and some sleepless nights but I think the balance has turned toward the positive. 🙂

      Merry Christmas to you too!

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s