Who Could Love A Such A Screwed Up Girl?

scars

You told me you loved me

You told me I was your princess

You told me that I was beautiful

And then you destroyed me

You took from me the idea of love

Because of you I learned that love is a myth

I learned that love is opening yourself

to excruciating pain and humiliation.

You took from me the desire to want to love anyone

You took from me my desire to love me

You took from me everything

And left me dead inside

So first, I sought to destroy myself

And failed.

Then I just wanted to feel something

So I cut.

Each drop of blood that ran down my arms

Was warm and felt embracing.

That’s what I’ve always needed

Someone to love me with a warm embrace.

Yet you stole all from me

Crushed my hope

And left me hollow!

Advertisements

9 thoughts on “Who Could Love A Such A Screwed Up Girl?

  1. From what you have shared with me, this very aptly describes what happened to you, but I still believe that someday you will experience real love. It will take time, but you will one day come to understand that love is precious, warm, tender, gentle, kind and builds you up. I hope that one day you will be able to feel this. Hug ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Someday is a far away time that I can’t even fathom right now. I spoke with my Counselor and she told me that writing it out was wonderful therapy, but could also bring back a lot of memories I had been suppressing. Sister Thomasina read all 47 of my entries so far and just cried.

      Someday, perhaps, all this will have some purpose. But for now, I am still alive and breathing.

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s