And So Begins A New Year

cutter

Seems like a lifetime ago since I’ve had the opportunity to post anything here.  I got released into counseled care after one of my cuts went too deep.  27 stitches later and a psych eval later, here I am at the beginning of a new year.

I talked at length with my counselor about all I had written about my life under the control and domination of the Grunge and all he did.  She wanted to give me meds to help me not think about the events, but I can’t and don’t want to forget!  I NEED to remember them so perhaps some day I can help someone else.

I remember New Year’s Day when I was 12 and was just beginning to grow into womanhood, the Grunge noticed hair growth where it normally should be on a girl, but he said he was having none of that, so he called his step-sister to come over and “get rid of ALL hair below the neck.”  She was terrified of him and obeyed without question never looking at him.  All I can tell you is that, even though she tried to be gentle, hair removal fucking hurts!  I tried to talk to her, but all she would say was “I’m sorry, he did this to me when we were children too.”  OMG!!!  How many lives has this evil man destroyed?

After Logan helped me escape from him, I tried to contact her but she wouldn’t have anything to do with me.  I worry about her damaged life and want so much to help her.

On a different note, I am back at work and have found lots of books I want to read.  And Sister Thomasina told me I can come back to her butt kicking class when the doctor signs my release and my stitches come out.  Thought about taking them out myself, but that won’t get my release signed.

I’ve met with Sister Thomasina for tea and the occasional beer at her favorite pub.  I decided that I would try some of the pub food, and have found that haggis is truly repulsive as is tripe.  But I have found that they have a salad that has walnuts, cranberries, goat cheese, spinach and lettuce that is absolutely delicious.  They also have a steak sand that is mouthwateringly wonderful!!!  I felt like such a hog!

Logan is getting his “home office” set up and even has these partitions he uses as office walls.  He is so fussy and it’s hilarious to watch him getting everything in its proper place.  I, as a joke, put his lamp on the opposite corner of his desk than where he put it, and he was so flustered.  I always knew he was very picky, but this is OCD at its most intense, I believe.  Even his pens must be exactly the same.

Christmas was quiet.  We celebrated in my hospital room and I gave Logan a Pink Flamingo coffee mug, and he gave me the most wonderful scarf!  It is cashmere and so soft and so warm.  Perfect!  One of the nurses has taken it upon herself to teach me how to crochet.  WOW!  THAT is a LOT harder than it looks, but it’s also a lot of fun learning something new.

Time for my next appointment, so until next time…Thank you for reading.

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