I’ve been pondering the peace and quiet of my mind within the week past. Astounded I have been by the fact that, even though things have been less than smooth, my mind remains at peace and the feeling of gloom and doom, which has been my burden for so long, seems to have retreated back from whence it came.
I did meet with Logan for a bit of a chat. He told me didn’t mean to cause me pain or to cause a rift between us, but when he knew I had found out he had a son by one of my abusers, he was shocked then stunned, and ashamed. I told him that, although I was devastated at the discovery, I’m beginning to understand that there is a reason for everything. I admitted to him that I was very hurt and angry and felt betrayed, but have been working through those feelings. We talked through two pots of tea.
We both apologized to each other and then I took him to that crumbling abandoned chapel I had found. I told him about my experience there and that I had been going every day just for the peace and quiet. Every time I had gone there, the wave of contentment and inexplicable sense of love flooded me. Logan stood there looking about and I saw tears streaming down his face. He turned to me and said, “This place is quite amazing.”
I hugged him and told him that I loved him so much. Then I just held him while he wept. Finally he told me that he understood why I came here. He also asked me if I would consider moving back in with him because the flat was so lonely and cold. We talked about my supervisor’s suggestion that I travel to the states for a couple of weeks to talk with a friend of hers who dealt with PTSD and Trauma Recovery. So he said, if it was okay with my supervisor, he would like to come with me as he is due for holiday.
I talked with my supervisor and she was ecstatic that he wanted to go too. And when I told her that he would be paying both of our stays and transport, she couldn’t stop the happy from showing all over her. Thus, we are leaving for the States on Sunday coming to stay for two weeks. All the travel and counseling arrangements have been made. We’ll be in someplace called Charleston, South Carolina. I looked on a map and online and it appears to be more than a bit wide and spread out, but it will be an adventure nonetheless.
I’ll let you know what’s happening as this adventure unfolds. But of this I am confident: Experiences we endure have a purpose.