Have you ever had one of those conversations where you are asked a question and, normally, you would ponder your response, put the words into their correct order and tense, then line them up and send them off to the filter before allowing them to exit the mouth into the general hearing of all? I have, shamefully, been part of these conversations over the last several days where the all systems have failed!
For example, I left my desk to toddle off to use the loo. As I passed the desk of one of my coworkers, he asked where I was going. I shot him “that look” which I had hoped would give his mind the message that it was time for him to shut his mouth. Yet…..here it was.
Him: “Where are YOU going?”
Me: “To the loo if you MUST know?”
Him: “Why are you going to the loo?”
(By this point, I was COMPLETELY embarrassed due to other coworkers began looking up from their work to stare at this interchange)
Me: “IF you MUST know, Mister Magoo…..I’m going to the loo to think of you whilst I poo.”
While that ended our exchange, I did feel rather bothered by having to explain such an event.
Later, Logan phoned me at work:
Logan: “Hey Tim, what are you doing?”
Me: “I’m talking to a jackass on the other end of this line asking idiot questions. And you?”
Logan: “Being the jackass phoning to remind you that you have a wax appointment after work.”
Me: “What gave you that impression?”
Logan: “Well, when you walked past me this morning, your gorilla legs were quite evident….”
Me: (cutting him off angrily) “WHAT? How DARE you!”
Logan: (continuing completely nonplussed) “And the shoppe called to remind you because they couldn’t raise you on your cell.”
Me: (realizing that I had left my phone in the loo where I had been earlier) “oh, thank you”
We seem to have a penchant for asking idiot questions and then getting offended when we get sarcastic answers. I told Logan I was heading to the shops. He asked what I was going for, so I told him, truthfully, I needed a new bra. To which his response, without even looking at me, was “what you going to put in it?”.
I apparently suck at conversing!