Revenge!

After much thought and careful consideration, I finally was able to get my revenge on Logan TWICE!  I know he has a “thing” for a co-worker named Bethany.  I have seen him mooning over her photo on his phone, but she has not met me yet (probably on purpose).  On Tuesday, I “happened” to wander over (via bus and tube) the 27 blocks to Logan’s Office.  I saw him sitting in the park with Bethany, so I thought I might as well break the ice and introduce myself since, apparently, Logan doesn’t think it’s a good idea.  I walked up behind Logan hugged him and kissed his cheek and looked at Bethany and said, “You must be Cindy!  Logan just won’t stop talking about you. I’m his sister Timere. It’s so nice to finally meet you.”

Logan’s face turned so hot from his blushing and then he got flustered because Cindy is actually his boss who he complains about incessantly.  Needless to say, Bethany was stunned and speechless.  I heard Logan making choking sounds trying to think of what to say, so I kissed him on the cheek again and whispered in his ear, “Gotcha!”.  Then I let the cat out of the bag and properly introduced myself to Bethany (very ladylike and daintily, of course).

THAT was SO worth the fare!  Logan came home sputtering mad but calmed down when I came out of the kitchen with his favorite meal prepared, and reminded him that I love him.  After dinner, Logan told me that he would clean up since I had fixed dinner.  Well, THAT should have been my clue that he was up to something, but I was still riding the high of the victory and knowing that I had another plan to set in motion.  Logan was clanging the pots and pans around making a lot of noise (even though I had only made his favorite pizza).  But I was relaxed on the sofa watching my programme, when he comes out of the kitchen jumps over the back of the sofa, drops in beside me, kissed me on the cheek as he slapped duct tape on my arm.

Now…..I am accustomed to being waxed from chin to toes (and still do it), but duct tape on skin…The only way to get it off was to get a corner and just yank the foot long piece off my arm.  There were many, Many, MANY expletives expressed because I miscalculated and it took FOUR yanks to finally get it off.  SO not fair.

But because I love him, I opted not to dismember him just yet.  But while he slept, I took his suit jacket and a pair of bright pink see through thong panties, and sewed them into the tail of his jacket so they could only be seen from the back.  So when he goes to the office tomorrow, he’s going to have to explain why he has a pair of sexy women’s panties dangling from his jacket.  I might just have to follow him to work just to see the reactions of he gets. 🙂  <insert evil maniacal laugh here>

Prank Update & Continued

This weekend past was challenging for both Logan and I.  It all began Friday morning when I had poured some blonde hair colouring in Logans shampoo, as he is VERY particular about his hair.  The shrieking from his lav when he saw his blonde top was hysterical!  Thank goodness I had locked my door because he came racing down the hall and ran face first into my solid oak door, which created more for his coworkers to view upon his arrival.  I’ll admit it, I checked on him and helped him with his bloody nose after I had laughed so hard that my ribs and stomach hurt.

That’s not to say I got away with it.  On Saturday, I got up late and was going to go to the pub with some of my coworkers so we could share our stories about the red-headed googly eyed guy from across the alleyway.  I jumped in the shower, grabbed my bodywash and started cleansing, only to discover the water was just beading up and rolling off me.  Logan had put petroleum jelly in my body wash, the little bastard!  Five scrubs later with regular soap and I still feel icky!

Then the little shyte went to the coffee truck I always patronize, because it’s right outside my workplace, and told the 18 year old counter person that I was in love with him AND that he made me horny.  When I showed up this morning, sure enough coffee guy is making puppy eyes at me and staring at, well, it wasn’t my eyes.  He asked me, in a shaky teenager voice, if I would go out with him.  I was confused as to where this was coming from, I had only been polite and courteous but nothing more.  That is, until I caught a glimpse of Logan hiding behind a shrubbery.  Then I knew!  So I smiled coyly, ran my finger along the neckline of my shirt, pulling down to where he could ALMOST see my boobless chest, and said “Come out of that van and I want you to take me right here in the park. I’ll ride you like a cowboy at a rodeo.” And then I winked.  Poor boy, his eyes went wide and by the time I got to “rodeo” he blushed and excused himself.  I ran over and smacked Logan on the back of his blonde head for ruining the coffee boy.

So now, it’s my turn.  What to do, what to do?

The Path Ain’t Easy

The journey ahead

Is fraught with challenges,

Trials, memories, nightmares,

And difficulties.

This is a road

Which only I can follow

Slowly and painfully

Walking, running,

and sometimes crawling

But this road will be traveled

Even though the destination

Is as yet unknown

I can no longer stay here

I must move forward

I must grow and learn

I must learn to deal, cope,

And I must learn to let go.

Let go….

There is the rub!

The scars are deep

The cuts still bleed.

The pain still sharp.

To let go though

Is to find freedom

Freedom from the anger

Freedom from the hate

Freedom from the past

Even though the scars remain

The scars prove that I survived!

Who Could Love A Such A Screwed Up Girl?

You told me you loved me

You told me I was your princess

You told me that I was beautiful

And then you destroyed me

You took from me the idea of love

Because of you I learned that love is a myth

I learned that love is opening yourself

to excruciating pain and humiliation.

You took from me the desire to want to love anyone

You took from me my desire to love me

You took from me everything

And left me dead inside

So first, I sought to destroy myself

And failed.

Then I just wanted to feel something

So I cut.

Each drop of blood that ran down my arms

Was warm and felt embracing.

That’s what I’ve always needed

Someone to love me with a warm embrace.

Yet you stole all from me

Crushed my hope

And left me hollow!

Baby Steps

Still haven’t heard a peep out of Vera since I told her that little nugget about my past and that hurts.  But I can’t control what she does with the information, I can only learn to keep making baby steps forward.  So far, the some steps have been easy and exciting, and some have been horribly reflective, and some have just been difficult because I’m still trying to understand it all.

As painful as the past may have been, I am actually grateful that it happened, and this will sound idiotically silly, because now I am so appreciative of so many small kindnesses that I believe many take for granted.  Yesterday, I was reading while I was walking to the coffee shop and a HUGE man came out of the door right when I got to the door and I got knocked down with my stuff scattering everywhere.  At first I was terrified, because this guy was HUGE (Shrek huge).  But he was so nice.  He helped me up and helped me get all my stuff back then bought me a gift card to the coffee shop so I could have as much coffee as I wanted for a whole month!  And he just kept apologizing and want to make sure I was okay.  He was so sweet.  I thanked him and assured him I was okay.  Then when I got ready to leave, the shop clerk handed me an envelope that the guy had left for me.  In it was $200 and a note telling me how sorry he was and to please use the money for something I would enjoy.

Sister Thomasina told me of a group that meets in the basement of the church for people like me.  I figured it was just another one of those “Learn to GET OVER IT” groups, and, once again, I was wrong.  These were people who I had a lot in common with.  Their tormentors were beasts who are or were wastes of molecules.  How can people become such monsters?  Why would they choose to be so horrible?

The hardest part I had with this group was when the facilitator said at some point we MUST be able to forgive them for all they had done to us.  Is she KIDDING?  FORGIVE the GRUNGE for my daily fucks and torments?  How could that even be possible?

Anyway, aside from that, my last several days have been filled with working, butt-kicking classes, and discovering what all is around our flat.  There are some pretty cool places around us.  There’s this little grocer on the corner where I stop every few days to keep fruits stocked for lunch.  The owner always calls me his little ray of sunshine and makes me smile and blush, especially when his wife comes out wiping her hands on her apron and gives me a piece of fresh Dutch Apple Crumble to take with me.  They are so adorable!

One of the books I’ve been reading is called The Hobbit, and one of my favorite parts is where Gandalf tells Lady Galadriel, “Saruman thinks it is through great power that evil is kept at bey.  But I have found that it’s in the small acts of kindness and love.”  How better to make the world a better place than to share in those small acts of kindness and love?

Even so, I cannot forgive the Grunge!  Not by a long shot!

 

Significance

Before time began
They glistened and shone
Sparkling spirits
From another realm
Twinkling in the cool night air.

I look at the sky
So filled with stars
Amazed by their dancing brilliance
And wonder about their significance.

I see the pebble on the road
Broken free from the asphalt
Proud of its fight for freedom
And wonder about its significance.

Is it true that no matter what I say
No matter what I do
There’s no significance?

Love is significant
But I have not love.
Hate has significance
But I have no hate
Fear has significance
But I fear not.

Numb….
Does numb have significance?