Glowing orb glistening
As if filled with life
Jolly face peering back
Through the fronds
Laughing,
Smiling,
Reassuring.
Gazing on the cooling light
Flowing over me
Washing away
The day.
I feel relief
I know peace
For once, I and the universe are one.
Calm fills my heart
Joy exudes from my soul
Come what may…
I
Know
Peace.
Having a rather odd feeling day today, and I’m not sure why. Perhaps, I am feeling a bit on the self-pity side. This morning, I stopped in to my favorite cafe for a tea and biscuit before going to work and I watched all these people chatting with one another, yet there were no deep conversations. I don’t like merely chatting someone, it’s not that I can’t and haven’t, but I prefer to get past that shell into the deeper conversations. Yet, it’s as if I have all these deep thoughts I want to share, but have no one, but Logan to share them with, since Sister Thomasina was sent to some Convent in some place to be the big britches boss.
Think, if you will, for just a moment…how many times have you been asked “How are you?” and your instant response it “Fine, thank you” or some variation. Why do we not seek deeper conversations that mere passing trivialities and shallow answers?
I want to talk about things like:
The last time I wrote anything about the U.S. election and all the protesting that followed, I was hammered with diatribes from angry people who wanted to “educate” me on U.S. politics and why they expected me to agree with their disagreement.
Well, if others are going to protest then so shall I.
I protest the following:
There you have it for now. So BUGGER OFF!
I was sitting in the park after work yesterday, reading a book and enjoying the weather, when an older couple came toddling up. They were so adorable. They were holding hands and giggling together. He asked if they could share the bench with me and I said, “Absolutely” figuring they wanted to rest for a bit then toddle on. He took out his kerchief and dusted off the bench for her to sit down. What a gentleman!
Honestly, watching this couple (out of the corner of my eye so as not to appear creepy or stalkery) was like watching to grey haired, wrinkly teenagers in love. No, they didn’t grope each other or me. As they sat there, I just couldn’t help myself, I had to ask “How long have you been married?” She looked at me with a huge smile and said, “We married the day he got home from the Army in 1946!”
They looked at each other in a way I had always dreamed someone would look at me. They held hands like I’ve always wanted someone to hold my hand. They laughed and enjoyed being together and, I openly admit, I was so jealous of them! My heart hurt so much because they knew what love is and I selfishly wanted what they have. I pulled out a tissue and wiped the tear from my eye hoping they would just chalk it up to allergies but they were not fooled. She said, “Honey, what’s the matter?”
To say that I was overwhelmed would be the understatement of my life. I found out her name was Ollie and his name was Ernest and that they walk the park about twice a week so they can share a pretzel and drink. Ernest likes beer with his pretzels but Ollie said beer makes him have to pee too much. Ollie likes a fizzy with her pretzel and Ernest giggled and said he loved it because it makes her burp. Then told me that once, she drank the fizzy too fast and burped her dentures out. And here I am, getting more and more jealous. Ernest told me that they had been childhood sweethearts and his heart had never wavered. Ollie said he used to trade a bucket of milk for a stick of chewing gum when they were kids and they would take turns chewing it.
This encounter was really beginning to break my heart, and I blurted out, “What IS love REALLY?” They both smiled (with a couple of missing teeth) and told me that true love is a decision, it’s not a “feeling” because feelings can change quickly but a decision is binding. I asked if they ever argued, and Ollie said, “Honey, we’ve fought like dogs over the last bone. But….(she winked)…we always made up!” Ernest smiled really big and said “And the make-up sex….ah…..was so amazing!” Well, I’m not a huge fan of sex currently, but I couldn’t help but feel my jealousy grow.
I asked what’s the secret of their love lasting so long. They looked at each other and then Ollie took my hand in her warm gnarled hand and said, “We only get one turn at life. We understand that we are in this one and only life together. We know that, not matter what happens, we will always be there for each other. We accept each other unconditionally. We don’t waste time on trivial things. We make sure to SHOW, not say, “I Love You” every single day. We are part of each other and will always be part of each other.”
She patted my hand as tears gushed from my eyes. He handed me a tissue from his pocket so I could wipe the snot that was bubbling from my nose. Ollie said, “Sweetie, you can’t go looking for love, you have to BE love. Only then will your other half find you.” She hugged me and kissed my cheek as she got up. He got up and kissed my hand, and they toddled off toward the pretzel vendor.
I went home, locked myself in my room and just cried into my pillow. My clothes smell like liniment, and my heart is so full it’s feels like it’s breaking.
Is true love really REAL?
No, this isn’t me. I don’t share pictures of myself for safety’s sake. But I got my hair cut in a pixie cut like this on Saturday because, in revenge for the whole sexy pink panties hanging out of his coat thing (which Logan was relentlessly teased by his co-workers, fellow tube riders, and the morning Walker’s on the pavement), Logan decided that since I had dozed off on the sofa I needed a hair cut. He used my pinking shears and randomly cut swaths out of my hair (which had grown down to my mid-back).
When I woke up, he was holding LOTS of my hair in his hands and was busy making a toupee for the bansai tree. Once I realized that he had not, in fact, shaved the neighbour’s cat, my shrieks and loud profanities attracted someone to notify the constabulary. That created QUITE the stir and, of course, drew an audience from the rest of the community.
The constables left after a bit (snickering and snorting about our antics) with a semi-stern warning about disturbing the peace. I left and got my pixie cut and was feeling like Audrey Hepburn. What a wonderful feeling! I actually took the time to look at my reflection and thought to myself, “You are quite the irresistible hottie.”
My musings were abruptly interrupted by a toddler loudly asking Mom, “Why is that man staring in the window?”. Well damn!
I put on my cap and detoured through the park. I saw a pretzel vendor so I bought a big hot pretzel and a drink and wandered through the park. Just beyond the tunnel a homeless looking guy accosted me brandishing a screwdriver and said, “Dude, gimmee your wallet!”
“Dude”? REALLY? So I lit into him about his gender error, and he looked absolutely stunned and bewildered. His response was to look at me oddly and say, “Seriously? You aren’t a Dude? Sure you’re not one of them confused people?” I assured him that I am, in fact, of the female flavor and he is still not convinced. I thought about pulling my shirt up, but that would only raise more doubts for him.
Understand that during our conversation, the menacing screwdriver has been forgotten and is back in his pocket and he is more curious and befuddled than threatening. Finally, I reached out and grabbed his danglers and said,”Do you feel what I have in my hand? Well, I don’t have one and am pretty happy about that ”
His response? He reached out and grabbed my crotch. When the patrolling constable happened by, she notices the pair of us groping each other.
Long story short, Logan will NEVER let me live down the fact that he had to come collect me from the station and vouch for me.
*Sigh*
I have never understood politics and don’t claim to understand it now. I’m not a politician, but I am a human female. And I am confused!
There was an election in the “United” States and because the winner of the election is not a politician and wants to make changes, there are lots of marches, burning, looting, destruction, defiance because the “liberals” don’t agree with the proposed changes?
I have listened to people shouting how they want Free This and Free That and Save This and Save That, as well as, Let’s not have borders rather let everyone come freely in and suckle at the taxpayer teat. There’s so much complaining going on that I am confused.
It’s as if everyone wants to steer the boat, but no one wants to help set the sails. What the hell is wrong with the “Offended” States of America? Every time I hear anything calling itself “news” about the U.S. it’s because some group or another is offended and needs to go to radical extremes to make their offendedness be known.
Is this how Mohandis Gandhi changed India? Is this how Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. changed civil rights? By looting, attacking, destroying?
WOW! You’d think adults would be able to sit down together, have a drink, and seek to fix the issues rather than create more or exacerbate the ones already present. I thought MY life had been horrible, but these people who have this need to protest everything all the time must have absolute horrific existences.
I just don’t get it. And honestly, don’t want to.
After much thought and careful consideration, I finally was able to get my revenge on Logan TWICE! I know he has a “thing” for a co-worker named Bethany. I have seen him mooning over her photo on his phone, but she has not met me yet (probably on purpose). On Tuesday, I “happened” to wander over (via bus and tube) the 27 blocks to Logan’s Office. I saw him sitting in the park with Bethany, so I thought I might as well break the ice and introduce myself since, apparently, Logan doesn’t think it’s a good idea. I walked up behind Logan hugged him and kissed his cheek and looked at Bethany and said, “You must be Cindy! Logan just won’t stop talking about you. I’m his sister Timere. It’s so nice to finally meet you.”
Logan’s face turned so hot from his blushing and then he got flustered because Cindy is actually his boss who he complains about incessantly. Needless to say, Bethany was stunned and speechless. I heard Logan making choking sounds trying to think of what to say, so I kissed him on the cheek again and whispered in his ear, “Gotcha!”. Then I let the cat out of the bag and properly introduced myself to Bethany (very ladylike and daintily, of course).
THAT was SO worth the fare! Logan came home sputtering mad but calmed down when I came out of the kitchen with his favorite meal prepared, and reminded him that I love him. After dinner, Logan told me that he would clean up since I had fixed dinner. Well, THAT should have been my clue that he was up to something, but I was still riding the high of the victory and knowing that I had another plan to set in motion. Logan was clanging the pots and pans around making a lot of noise (even though I had only made his favorite pizza). But I was relaxed on the sofa watching my programme, when he comes out of the kitchen jumps over the back of the sofa, drops in beside me, kissed me on the cheek as he slapped duct tape on my arm.
Now…..I am accustomed to being waxed from chin to toes (and still do it), but duct tape on skin…The only way to get it off was to get a corner and just yank the foot long piece off my arm. There were many, Many, MANY expletives expressed because I miscalculated and it took FOUR yanks to finally get it off. SO not fair.
But because I love him, I opted not to dismember him just yet. But while he slept, I took his suit jacket and a pair of bright pink see through thong panties, and sewed them into the tail of his jacket so they could only be seen from the back. So when he goes to the office tomorrow, he’s going to have to explain why he has a pair of sexy women’s panties dangling from his jacket. I might just have to follow him to work just to see the reactions of he gets. 🙂 <insert evil maniacal laugh here>
This weekend past was challenging for both Logan and I. It all began Friday morning when I had poured some blonde hair colouring in Logans shampoo, as he is VERY particular about his hair. The shrieking from his lav when he saw his blonde top was hysterical! Thank goodness I had locked my door because he came racing down the hall and ran face first into my solid oak door, which created more for his coworkers to view upon his arrival. I’ll admit it, I checked on him and helped him with his bloody nose after I had laughed so hard that my ribs and stomach hurt.
That’s not to say I got away with it. On Saturday, I got up late and was going to go to the pub with some of my coworkers so we could share our stories about the red-headed googly eyed guy from across the alleyway. I jumped in the shower, grabbed my bodywash and started cleansing, only to discover the water was just beading up and rolling off me. Logan had put petroleum jelly in my body wash, the little bastard! Five scrubs later with regular soap and I still feel icky!
Then the little shyte went to the coffee truck I always patronize, because it’s right outside my workplace, and told the 18 year old counter person that I was in love with him AND that he made me horny. When I showed up this morning, sure enough coffee guy is making puppy eyes at me and staring at, well, it wasn’t my eyes. He asked me, in a shaky teenager voice, if I would go out with him. I was confused as to where this was coming from, I had only been polite and courteous but nothing more. That is, until I caught a glimpse of Logan hiding behind a shrubbery. Then I knew! So I smiled coyly, ran my finger along the neckline of my shirt, pulling down to where he could ALMOST see my boobless chest, and said “Come out of that van and I want you to take me right here in the park. I’ll ride you like a cowboy at a rodeo.” And then I winked. Poor boy, his eyes went wide and by the time I got to “rodeo” he blushed and excused himself. I ran over and smacked Logan on the back of his blonde head for ruining the coffee boy.
So now, it’s my turn. What to do, what to do?
Within this world of sight and sound
Overwhelming, at times, though it be;
There is a place that’s just for me
A place I call Serenity!
Life has sucked for most of my years
And joy from it was drained;
But as that may be, my life has changed
Because of this place, Serenity!
Sometimes it is hard to find
And others it’s a breeze;
Regardless my scene I always find
My place called Serenity
It is a state of being
That calm in spite of the storms;
It’s a place to wait out
The trials of life
This place called Serenity.
When stress tries to destroy
And sap strength and joy
And leave me crumpled and weeping,
My soul will crawl all the way back
To this place called Serenity.
Logan and I are brother and sister. We live together. He is my rescuer and my hero. He is also the target of my mischief most of the time. And I am the target of his mischief.
It all began when he first moved me in with him. I have my own room and my own lav. However, when I’m in the shower, Logan would wait until I started singing (which drives him nuts) and he would flush his toilet. Suddenly, mid-song, all the cold water would disappear and I would get a bit of a scalding. He claimed my scream was much more pleasant than my singing. Little bastard.
So, whilst HE slept, I stealthily crept in with my ninja-like skills, and sewed all of his boxers together in one long chain. Oh my word, such profanity I heard the following morning would have melted granite! Ah…..sweet revenge.
Logan know that I like my tea. Do not fuck with my tea! Every morning whilst my tea is steeping, I get dressed then pour the tea into my thermos and off to work I go. Well, Dr. Sneakydrawers waited until I had just put my tea on to steep and put a jalapeno in to steep with the tea and when he heard me coming up the hall, snatched it out and ate it. Imagine my surprise when I went to the rooftop for lunch, wave at my redheaded, bespectacled, across-the-alley gawker, and pour my tea. I thought it tasted a bit off, but halfway through my cup I was racing around the roof trying to find the water spigot. I finally found one with no hose so I was practically standing on my head sucking down as much water as I could and giving my gawker the best view of my panda pantied ass he’s ever had.
Again, I relied on my wicked ninja skills, and while he slept, I painted his fingernails Bubblegum Pink and reset his alarm so he would have 15 minutes less time to get ready to catch the train. Logan is not exactly a morning person, meaning he’s not fully paying attention until he gets his coffee. Thus, when his alarm went off 15 minutes late, he had to dash. He didn’t notice his nails until he was on the train and someone told him how pretty they were. I did not realize that he had a presentation to make at work that morning, so he had to scramble to get to the pharm to get some fingernail polish remover. But not before his co-workers got a good giggle out of it.
Last night, he replaced my body lotion with mayonnaise. So when I got my shower and applied my “lotion” it was fucking disgusting! It took another two hot showers to get that nastiness off! And I’m still smelling it while I’m at work today!
What to do? What to do?
On The Other Side Of Darkness 
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